"Fear of Zombies Continues in Tokyo"
Tokyo, Japan (AP)
by Ray Kremer, Tokyo Correspondent

In the wake of the Tokyo subway undead attack involving the unfortunate Shizuko Asai, the city has continued to show signs of zombie hysteria. An American tourist was arrested Sunday for causing a disturbance in a Harajuku district dance club. Eyewitnesses report he was shouting warnings of zombies in the area. The club's disk jockey Kenji said of the incident, "Fortunately the music was loud and he was only speaking English. We could have had a panic on our hands in a crowded dance floor, but most people didn't really even notice him."

Then on Tuesday, in the wake of an accidental explosion at a natural gas storage facility in Suidobashi, several citizens that evacuated the area claimed to have seen an entire horde of zombies rampaging through the streets. In the aftermath of the fire caused by the explosion however, no bodies were found and property damage was minimal. The reports of an undead army have been chalked up to paranoia and the panic caused by the fire.

Tokyo Police Inspector Masamichi Sonoda, who was the first officer to arrive at the scene, said of the incident, "Yes, that zombie rampage was an error." Of the containment of the fire, he continued, "Our emergency responders did their job and prevented the incident from spreading further." Asked if they are prepared for actual necro-virus outbreaks in the future, Sonoda replied, "We stand ready to handle any emergencies in Tokyo, planned or unplanned, including zombies." The Inspector humorously added, "When the zombies do attack, I hope they have their paperwork in order."

Still, some are claiming a government cover-up of the undead attack, citing rumors of a counter-attack against the zombies mounted from a mysterious black van. The cause of the gas explosion remains under investigation, but authorities are highly doubtful of any undead involvement.