Still on the list:
[973]
(new) Panel 1: "Prior to Yuki learning she was a magical grrl" - not exactly true, Miho revealed it to her in Chapter 8, it's just it wasn't until chapter 9 that she started dressing and acting the part.
[989]
panel 5: Largo's necklace has two adjacent white beads
[1036]
panel 8: Meimi's fingers look odd:
(original lineart, final hatched comic with her ring added, final comic overlayed on lineart, combination of the two with her finger better defined.)
[1055]
panel 1: I assume those aren't Miho's hands given the lack of rings.
[1077]
panel 4: I'm pretty sure "as if the game was still alive" is more proper as "as if the game were still alive", however! conversationally many people would use "was" anyway
[1084, 1085, 1086, 1087, 1088]
May want to rehatch manually in part or in whole so they blend better
[1086]
1040 and 1086 have the same title, in case you want to avoid duplication
[1090]
(new) panel 5: the badge on zombie's beret is shaded over, unlike the ones in other panels
[1095]
(new) panel 10: extra space in "the Rent-A-Zilla"
[1106]
(new) Largo's jacket is unhatched in this page.
(new) panel 10: "fingerprints" is one word
[1113]
panel 3: really would be better as a Girl Phase scene with Moeko
[1131]
panel 5: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe we wouldn't anyway from that angle?
[1136]
panel 9: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe it's blocked from view?
[1139]
panel 9: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe we wouldn't anyway from that angle?
[1141]
panel 6: Largo has a wristwatch on. It is absent in [1148] panel 5 and [1149] panel 8.
[1157]&[1162]-[1167]
(new) art issue: Largo's jacket is hatched in [1157], [1162], and [1165] but unhatched in [1163], [1164], and [1167]
(new) also, his tshirt visible where his sportcoat is torn at the right shoulder is frequently left white, it should be hatched dark. (1162-p10, 1163-p1, 1165-p3,p4,p7)
(new) the tshirt itself is also unhatched in 1157-p7,p8, 1162-p2,p10, 1165-p2,p5,p7
[1163, 1164]
art mistake(?): Largo's sunglasses vanish between pages and remain missing
[1167]
panel 1: "There, It should" - "it" shouldn't be capitalized
[1183]
panel 3: why does that have two end quotes instead of start quote and end quote?
[1191]
third row down, first on the left, sleeping miho filename 3433795965563456554r.jpg is one digit too long compared to the others
[1193]
panel 8: the apostrophe in I'd is tipping the wrong direction, it looks like a starting single quote got in there instead of an actual apostrophe. Compare to the other apostrophes. (makes me wonder how many apostrophes are actually closing single quote marks, but we'd never be able to find them)
[1204]
panel 4: "pulled" is only one syllable (though I don't know how else to fit that in there...)
panel 5: could have got - technically I think should be "could have gotten"
[1206]
art: look at monitor on the near right, in panel 2 it has wires and a heatsink on it, in panels 3/4/5 those are missing
[1217]
panel 1: kimiko's sleeve shading too light, doesn't look like part of her shirt
[1220]
Yuki should have Piro's bag here, but maybe she set it down...
[1227]
panel 3: is the strap of Piro's bag there?
[1228]
panel 7: strap of piro's bag?
[1230]
(new) panel 5: missing closing bracket >
[1230, 1242, 1243, 1258]
Komugiko's shirt needs to be finished like you did on the "Stop" page.
[1268]
panel 2: 'acquired' - That's not a correct open single quote (compare panels 3 and 5)
Don't know if we're making an attempt for correct capitalization in Ping's subtitles or not, but if we are these are the strips that need to be fixed: 1148 1153 1162 1163 1167 1232 1234
key: fixed in book pages fixed on website also
UNFINISHED HATCHING/ART:
[1062],
[1081],
[1089],
[1090],
[1091],
[1092],
[1093],
[1094],
[1095],
[1096],
[1097],
[1099],
[1100],
[1107],
[1108],
[1110],
[1111],
[1112],
[1113],
[1114],
[1115],
[1116],
[1117],
[1118],
[1119],
[1121],
[1122],
[1125],
[1148],
[1149],
[1150],
[1152],
[1153],
[1154],
[1157],
[1159],
[1162],
[1165],
[1170],
[1171],
[1172],
[1175],
[1180],
[1181],
[1182],
[1183],
[1185],
[1188],
[1191],
[1195],
[1200],
[1201],
[1202],
[1203],
[1204],
[1205],
[1206],
[1207],
[1208],
[1209],
[1216],
[1225],
[1226],
[1234],
[1252],
[1253],
[1254]
TYPOS/ETC:
[973]
Panel 1: "Prior to Yuki learning she was a magical grrl" - not exactly true, Miho revealed it to her in Chapter 8, it's just it wasn't until chapter 9 that she started dressing and acting the part
panel 3: who → whom
panel 3: twelsve → twelve
[974]
panel 6: they way → the way
[978]
panel 4: possible extra space in "building itself"
[980]
panel 4: messin → messin'
[983]
panel 5: Akibahira → Akihabara
footnote: shure → sure
[986]
Panel 5: Needs punctuation after "breaking a leg"
Panel 6: Lets → let's
[989]
panel 5: Largo's necklace has two adjacent white beads
[992]
chapter/page stamp - 9, not 4
[994]
panel 5: got himself into - could be "gotten", seems to be one of those that's not a strict rule though
[995]
panel 5: Its from the store → It's from the store
[999]
panel 5: Lets continue this → Let's continue this
[1001]
panel 1: Missing closing bracket > in Kimiko's speech bubble.
[1002]
panel 4: Missing closing bracket > in Kimiko's speech bubble.
[1004] (DPD)
up comming → upcoming
[1020]
panel 3: syallble break is pic-tures, not pict-ures
[1021]
panel 6: missing closing bracket >
[1022]
panel 4: needs comma after second "secure"
[1023]
panel 1: Dom's hair has mysteriously become unhatched in the book version of the page.
[1024]
panel 7: Missing period after "I... can't", maybe missing closing bracket > after "Are you crying?"
[1025]
panel 4: licence - acceptible but typical American spelling is license
panel 7: "Gotta go!." ← remove the period
date stamp 06.17.2007 → 07.17.2007
[1028]
panel 1: Needs one less dot in "l....landed"
[1029]
panel 6: Missing closing bracket > in the last speech bubble.
page stamp should be 09:33
[1034]
panel 6: I suggest a comma after 'stupid'
[1036]
panel 8: Meimi's ring missing
panel 8: Meimi's fingers look odd
[1038]
panel 4: Meimi's missing her necklace
[1039]
panel 7: d4nge3ous → d4ng3rous
[1042]
Panel 1&6: Emi → Eimi
Panel 4: Probably should be "Masters"? rather than "Masters?"
[1046]
Panel 2: Ryoya → Ryouya (x2)
[1052]
Panel 4: extra period in that second ellipsis.
[1053]
Panel 3: Needs a period after magical grrls.
[1054]
Panel 8: Lets → Let's
[1055]
panel 1: whose hands are those? Kimiko's? Miho's? Miho has a lot of rings on.
Panel 6: Ikekuburo → Ikebukuro (the second one is okay)
Panel 6: Needs brackets < > around PA anouncement
Panel 8: We → we (since there's a comma after commander, 'we' should be lowercase)
should be 09:59
[1056] (DPD)
needs a period after "Photoshop)" and whats → what's
[1057]
panel 2: Kobayashi's bubble - there's a comma and a period there, remove the comma
[1060]
should be 09:62
[1061]
panel 1: stomp3ed → stomp3d
panel 3: lighting → lightning
should be 09:63
[1068]
OSE 55 → OSE 56
[1069]
panel 1: pease → please
panel 2: missing comma in "One moment sir."
panel 3: "(Sigh)." should probably have the period inside the parenthesis, or even no period.
[1072]
panel 1: "The plan is to to help Piro-san..."
panel 5: Missing ending bracket >
[1073]
panel 1: maybe ' "little bit of the real her" ' instead of ' "little bit of the real" her '
panel 2: syllable breaks in characters is char·ac·ters
[1074]
panel 7: comic says "cute thing" but in the transcript you had put "cute clothing". Needs to be fixed if you meant "clothing", otherwise it's fine
[1076]
panel 5: fsk'd → fsck'd
panel 9: make consistent with 1084 - two exclamation marks after "the outfit"
[1077]
panel 1: status → the status
panel 4: I'm pretty sure "as if the game was still alive" is more proper as "as if the game were still alive", however! it's a very common error and conversationally many people would use "was"
[1080]
panel 7:: its → it's
[1082]
panel 4: He → Hey
[1084]
panel 2: Missing hyphen in Zilla-san
may want to manually rehatch this
[1085]
panel 1: missing bracket > on "<What's with this guy??"
may want to manually rehatch this
[1086]
strip 1040 is also titled "secure positions" in case you want to avoid duplication
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
panel 6: fcsk'd → fsck'd
may want to manually rehatch this
[1087]
panel 1: maybe stick a space in after the ellipsis
may want to manually rehatch this
[1088]
may want to manually rehatch this
[1089]
Panel 4: needs period after cute
Panel 6: double "of"
[1090]
Lack of capitalization in zombie subtitles - inconsistent with [983]
panel 4: she's hasn't → she hasn't
panel 5: drop the caps on "like"
panel 5: the badge on zombie's beret is shaded over, unlike the ones in other panels
[1091]
panel 4: Missing hyphen in Zilla-san
[1092]
panel 2: maybe brackets around Kyaa!!
[1093]
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo in all panels after panel 1
[1094]
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
page stamp should be 09:89
panel 1: Technically needs a question mark but it's okay if you're depicting his tone by leaving it off.
panel 3: youre → you're
panel 7: Definately needs question mark on Where's Largo-san
panel 11: Is Erika's line intentionally in English?
[1095]
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
panel 6: capital Is in song lyrics
panel 10: it's → its (x2)
panel 10: extra space in "the Rent-A-Zilla"
date stamp: March not April
[1096]
panel 2: Maybe should move the end bracket > to before the b33p
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
Given that Largo is dipping into l33t spelling I'm not sure how important any modicum of grammar is, but: Panel 3: shez → she'z (???
) Panel 5: doin → doin'
[1099]
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
[1100]
09:94 → 09:95
[1101]
panel 5: second balloon has no triangle pointer thingy
03.18.2008 → 03.19.2008
[1102]
missing date/page stamp
[1103] (DPD)
drawng → drawing
a MT → an MT
[1106]
Largo's jacket is unhatched in this page.
panel 6: extra space in "miles we"
panel 10: "fingerprints" is one word
[1107]
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo in panels 3 & 4
panel 1: need comma after "salvaged"
panel 2: canon → cannon
panel 2: it's → its
panel 5: need comma after "repeat"
[1108]
panel 1: extra space in "the location"
panel 2: "Panic!" needs brackets < >
panel 2: not entirely certain you actually meant to say a 200 km radius
[1109]
panel 6: Recopy this panel from the final hatched version of 1107.
[1110]
panel 9: The man's name was Houdini. Not sure if Hud33n33 works okay or if it needs to be Houd33n33.
[1112]
panel 2: extra space in 'didn't know'
panel 3: extra space in 'from your'
panel 7: comma after 'good seeing you'
[1113]
panel 3: really would be better as a Girl Phase scene with Moeko
art: Largo's jacket needs its camo
[1114]
panel 6: get the white outline thing going for that "<Huh?>" over Kimiko's hair
[1115]
panel 3: lets → let's
panel 4: lets → let's
[1117]
panel 9: comma after 'drinking'
[1118]
panel 1: Probably should have a comma after every "no", regardless of line breaks
panel 1: maybe a comma after 'allow it'
[1119]
panel 4: Matsui's little tuft of hair isn't hatched
panel 5: Indentifying → Identifying
I wish the little notes weren't necessary, but people were confused about this page the first time around so I guess they are. Especially with this being Matsui's only appearance in this book.
[1120] (DPD)
"trying to color the with the same"
[1121]
panel 4: period should be a comma or an ellipsis
[1125]
panel 4: only three dots for an ellipsis
[1127]
page/date stamp missing
panel 5: comprimised → compromised
[1128]
page/date stamp missing
"omake theatre" title missing
panel 4: sergent → sergeant
panel 6: breech → breach
panel 6: Rodger → Roger
panel 6: canon → cannon
[1130]
panel 3: gettin → gettin'
[1131]
panel 5: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe we wouldn't anyway from that angle?
[1134]
art mistake: Miho missing her bandage, panels 6 & 8
[1136]
panel 9: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe it's blocked from view?
[1139]
panel 2: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe it's too small anyway?
panel 6: Should "Let go of me!!" be in Japanese brackets?
panel 9: can't see Piro's band-aid but maybe we wouldn't anyway from that angle?
[1141]
panel 6: Largo has a wristwatch on. It is absent later.
[1144]
panel 2: missing closing bracket >
[1146] (DPD)
1145 → 1146 (twice)
a lot of a lot of → a lot of
apologize or the delay → apologize for the delay
[1148]
panel 1: Ping's subtitle missing a period
panel 5: should tr4nsl33tor have a z instead of the s?
panel 5: Largo's wristwatch missing
[1149]
panel 8: comprimised → compromised
panel 8: Largo's wristwatch missing
[1150]
panel 2: Sonoda's → Sonodas
[1151]
panel 3: You usually keep the sighs outside the Japanese brackets and do (Sigh) or (Sigh...) or *Sigh*
panel 9:: There's some kind of white text across Ping's cuff.
[1152]
panel 10:: Largo-sanz → Largo-san
[1153]
panel 6: I → I'd
[1156]
panel 6: extra space in "it obviously"
[1157]
panel 6: art mistake: Largo's six fingers
[1158]
panel 7: double "with"
panel 8: The were broken → They were broken
[1159]
panel 5: Lets → Let's
[1161] (DPD)
it's own → its own
[1162]
footer date and strip number wrong
[1157]&[1162]-[1167]
art issue: Largo's jacket is hatched in [1157], [1162], and [1165] but unhatched in [1163], [1164], and [1167]
also, his tshirt visible where his sportcoat is torn at the right shoulder is frequently left white, it should be hatched dark. (1162-p10, 1163-p1, 1165-p3,p4,p7)
the tshirt itself is also unhatched in 1157-p7,p8, 1162-p2,p10, 1165-p2,p5,p7
[1164]
art mistake(?): Largo's sunglasses have suddenly vanished and remain missing
[1167]
panel 1: "There, It should" - "it" shouldn't be capitalized
art mistake: Ping's earblades aren't there in panels 6&7
panel 7: should tr4nsl33t0r have a z instead of the s?
panel 9: Transl33tor / Tr4nzl33tor ? (Maybe it's not important for Largo to be consistent on the l33ting of "translator"?)
[1169]
panel 5: missing two end brackets <
panel 5: Thank your → Thank you
panel 7: maybe needs comma after "me"
[1170]
panel 9: "Zom Zom" not hyphenated
[1171]
panel 8: extra or missing period at "getting hard to find.."
panel 8: art error, Zom-Zom's bandage X is hatched over grey instead of left white
panel 9: "ZomZom" not hyphenated
[1172]
panel 3: missing brackets in the first bubble
[1174]
panel 3: wrong syllable break for em·bar·rass·ing
panel 3: maybe a comma after sorry
[1176]
art mistake: panel 5: Yuki's left hand is backwards, thumb should be the other way
[1181]
panel 8: "more romantic than imagined" This should probably be "more romantic than I imagined"
[1182]
panel 7: acnowledge → acknowledge
panel 8: embarrased → embarrassed
panel 1,4: need to add -kun after Kobayashi
[1183]
panel 3: why does that have two end quotes instead of start quote and end quote?
Missing date&page number in footer
[1185]
panel 8: the bold on the first < bracket bugs me
[1186] (OSE)
mislabeled 1185 in footer
[1187]
Panel 6: yknow -> y'know
Panel 8: one -> ones
[1188]
Panel 1: <Not sure. All she ever gives is her username, "SEVS-44936".><She says she's a friend of Tohya's.> ← period, apostrophe, and remove extra space before the end bracket >
[1189] (DPD)
change footer from DPD:110 to END:1
top page: character's → characters'
[1190]
panel 1: Lets → Let's
panel 3: probably is acceptible either way, but question mark can go outside the quotes
[1191]
third row down, first on the left, sleeping miho filename 3433795965563456554r.jpg is one digit too long compared to the others
panel 3 (4? 5?): Close and enough → Close enough
[1192] (DPD)
upper text: naviation → navigation
[1193]
panel 3: zomzom → zom-zom
panel 8: the apostrophe in I'd is tipping the wrong direction, it looks like a starting single quote got in there instead of an actual apostrophe. Compare to the other apostrophes. (makes me wonder how many apostrophes got replaced by closing single quote marks, but we'd never be able to find them)
[1196]
panel 6: No reason to hypenate Convention Hall, though you can do "convention hall-grade" if you want.
panel 6: missing closing bracket >
[1197]
panel 1: move question mark to outside of quotes
[1199]
panel 1,7: need to add -kun after Kobayashi
[1200]
panel 6:: did you change [NPC]GS221 to [NPC] o intentionally?
[1201]
panel 7: missing close bracket >
[1202]
panel 3: Wow, he's usually → Wow, he usually
[1204]
panel 1: goin → goin'
panel 4: "pulled" is only one syllable (though I don't know how else to fit that in there...)
panel 5: could have got - technically I think should be "could have gotten"
[1205]
art: dirt on Piro's face missing in some panels
Panel 2: extra space in between "have embarrassing"
[1206]
art: look at monitor on the near right, in panel two it has wires and a heatsink on it, in panel 3/4/5 those are missing
[1209]
panel 5: how about a space after "uhm..."
[1213]
panel 3: missing > bracket
[1217]
panel 1: kimiko's sleeve shading too light, doesn't look like part of her shirt
[1220]
Yuki should have Piro's bag here, but maybe she set it down...
[1225]
Panel 6: "ten days ago" should be nine?
[1226]
Panel 1: I think a comma after "easy"
forgot to hatch largo's hat in the last panel
[1227]
panel 3: is the strap of Piro's bag there? Doesn't quite look like the right jacket either.
[1228]
panel 7: strap of piro's bag?
[1230]
panel 5: missing closing bracket >
Komugiko's shirt...
[1234]
panel 3: I never quite understand how you manage to capitalize the second sentence but not the first. Or are Ping's subtitles supposed to be wildly inconsistent?
[1236]
"is it because she doesn't she like herself?" too many "she" in there.
[1242]
Komugiko's shirt...
[1243]
Komugiko's shirt...
[1245]
margin guideline is still on there.
[1249]
panel 4: third ellipsis is only two dots and no space after
[1252]
panel 3: not sure if Geh! should be in brackets or not
[1257]
okay I didn't say anything before, but Miho's right foot needs that shading redone.
[1258]
Komugiko's shirt...
[1266]
forgot to add the station call (den-en chofu)
[1268]
panel 2: 'acquired' - That's not a correct open single quote (compare panels 3 and 5)
book pages checked:
7-70, 72-246
Web-to-book updates:
Typo/grammar fixes, minor formatting changes: 973, 980, 999, 1002, 1020, 1021, 1022, 1024, 1025, 1029, 1031, 1034, 1039, 1042, 1043, 1046, 1048, 1050, 1052, 1054, 1055, 1057, 1069, 1072, 1073, 1077, 1082, 1084, 1086, 1087, 1089, 1090, 1092, 1094, 1106, 1107, 1108, 1112, 1113, 1114, 1118, 1127, 1128, 1144, 1150, 1158, 1159, 1169, 1170, 1171, 1172, 1174, 1181, 1185, 1187, 1188, 1190, 1191, 1196, 1197, 1199, 1201, 1204, 1205, 1209, 1213, 1226, 1249, 1251,
Dialouge changes: 978, 989, 990, 991, 992, 994, 995, 1023, 1025, 1027, 1028, 1029, 1033, 1034, 1036, 1037, 1038, 1041, 1042, 1045, 1053, 1060, 1061, 1062, 1074, 1077, 1080, 1088, 1091, 1094, 1099, 1105, 1110, 1115, 1125, 1130, 1132, 1139, 1140, 1148, 1149, 1151, 1152, 1153, 1154, 1156, 1162, 1163, 1164, 1165, 1167, 1175, 1180, 1182, 1202, 1238, 1256,
Art changes: 981, 1000, 1001, 1003, 1086, 1123, 1134, 1176, 1179, 1183, 1217, 1219, 1236, 1257,
Now hatched: see top of page
5/22/10
